Learning to Love My Blood by Mathilde

So interesting how fast things can shift.
Four cycles ago I was deeply touched by the passion for the sacredness of menstrual blood Taki'h Dhyandeepa Antigoni had shared in the Blood Mysteries Master Class.
A part of me was profoundly moved, but I couldn't understand why.

To me bleeding mostly meant pain and exhaustion and mess.
So I couldn't see anything sacred about it.
I had no idea what that could be like.
It felt far from tangible or imaginable.
Yet I was open.
Open to connect to my blood.
Open to learn from it.
So I started where I could.

Beyond my mind and experience, something deeper was pushing.
So on the following cycle, I explored as I could, with all my blindness.
Starting with my senses.
Collecting the blood in a glass bowl
Looking at it
Smelling it
Touching it
Feeling it on my skin,
Tasting it.

At first it felt a bit awkward.
I didn't know if something was "supposed to happen", I wasn't fond of the smell or taste, and I was judging myself for spending my time and energy doing this.
And there was this other part.
A part of me feeling a deep, deep intimacy like I had never felt before.

Slowly a strange love story started.
I started to include my blood in my meditations and rituals, just like a little friend that would hold my hand when I visit my most sincere and vulnerable places.
And this intimacy opened a new gateway to my womb.

I knew she had a wisdom of her own, but in order to access it I usually needed to be very still and dive deep to listen to her whispers.
When I started exploring this her voice grew much louder. Now she talks and moves through me clearly and unapologetically.

These days I'm offering workshops in a very special place.
It's a land I've fallen in love with in quite mysterious ways, but that's a whole other story.
Twice I bled exactly when I was there.
The first time something took over me and I had the urge to take my pants off, squat and bleed directly on the land.
It was like I had waited all my life for this moment.
Part of my conditioned mind was full on embarrassed and just didn't get what the hell I was doing.

The second time is now.
My blood arrived 6 days early.
I was supposed to be gone from here before my cycle would start.
And for some reason I felt sad about it.
As if I had travelled to where my lover lives knowing I would miss him by just a day.
So when it arrived I was in so much joy.
Like I could truly unite with this land. Truly connect.

I have been exploring the mysteries of Life through my body for a while now.
But it feels like my blood adds a whole new level to it.
Denser, deeper.
It has also been helping me surf the waves of my cycle and benefit from each phase in much deeper ways.
The pain and exhaustion that I was used to during menstruation has given way to deep peace and sometimes even ecstasy.

The degree of energy, wonder and creativity I am experiencing are going through the roof compared to what I am used to.
Realizing yet again that being in a woman's body is such an immense blessing.
Humbled by the richness and beauty of what Life is teaching me ♡

Mathilde, 32, Nice, France, July 9 2020